Eminem - Cum on Everybody Lyrics

Album: The Slim Shady LP
Artist: Eminem
Title: Cum on Everybody
Track: Track 13

Writers: Jeff Bass, Mark Bass & Eminem
Produced by: Bass Brothers
Clean version title: Come On Everybody
Release date: February 23, 1999

Cum on Everybody Lyrics

[Intro]
(Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha) Yo, mic check
(Woo, shit) Testing
One, two, um, twelve
What up? What up? What up? (Outsiderz)
This is my dance song, can you hear me? (Outsiderz)
(Rah Digga, Young Zee, bust it, bust it)
Alright, ayy, turn my headphones up

[Verse 1]
My favorite color is red like the bloodshed
From Kurt Cobain’s head when he shot himself dead
Women all grabbin’ at my shish kabab
Bought Lauryn Hill’s tape so her kids could starve
(“I can’t stand white people”)
You thought I was ill and now I’m even more so
Shit, I got full-blown AIDS and a sore throat
I got a wardrobe with an orange robe
I’m in the fourth row, signin’ autographs at your show
I just remembered that I’m absent-minded
Wait, I mean I’ve lost my mind, I can’t find it
I’m freestylin’ every verse that I spit
‘Cause I don’t even remember the words to my shit (Um, one, two)
I told the doc I need a change in sickness
And gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis
Put my LP on your Christmas gift list
You want to get high? Here, bitch, just sniff this

[Verse 2]
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
I tried suicide once and I’ll try it again
That’s why I write songs where I die at the end
‘Cause I don’t give a fuck like my middle finger was stuck
And I was wavin’ it at everybody, screamin’, “I suck” (I suck)
I go on stage in front of a sell-out crowd
And yell out loud, “All y’all get the hell out now”
Fuck rap, I’m givin’ it up, y’all, I’m sorry
(But Eminem, this is your record release party)
I’m bored out of my gourd, so I took a hammer
And nailed my foot to the floorboard of my Ford
Guess I’m just a sick, sick bastard
Who’s one sandwich short of a picnic basket (I ain’t got it all)
One Excedrin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet
I feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage (Oh)
And if you ever see a video for this shit
I’ll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

[Verse 3]
Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit
‘Cause they think that I’m a motherfuckin’ Beastie Boy
So I told ’em I was Mike D
They was like, “Gee, I don’t know, he might be”
I told ’em, “Meet me at Kid Rock’s next concert” (Oh really?)
I’ll be standin’ by the Loch Ness Monster” (Okay)
Peace out (Bye)
Then I jetted to the weed house, smoked out
‘Til I started bustin’ freestyles, broke out
Then I dipped quick back to the crib, put on lipstick
Crushed up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick
Made a couple of crank calls collect (Brrrt)
“It’s Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?”
I want to make songs all the fellas dub
And murder every rich rapper that I’m jealous of
So just remember, when I bomb your set
Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

[Chorus]
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)
Cum on everybody (Get down tonight)

About the “Cum on Everybody” song:

Eminem’s official dance song from the Slim Shady LP. He talked about this song in the book Angry Blonde:

“Cum On Everybody” was another song I did between the EP and the LP. I wanted to make a dance parody. It was during that Puffy stage, when Puff was really hot. So when I wrote the song, I thought, “What if I made a dance song my way?” So I was taking the most ridiculous shit and then coming in with the hook, “Cum on everybody”. Head did the original beat to it. I already had the hook, the hook was easy: “Cum on everybody get down tonight / If you ever see a video for this shit / I’d probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrist slit / Cum on everybody.” No matter what I was talking about in the song, the subject would quickly change into some party shit.
— Eminem in the book Angry Blonde from 2000

In the clean version of the album, the title “Cum on Everybody” was replaced by “Come On Everybody”.